She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
