i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize