Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
