2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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