We named our party play list daddy issues
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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