I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
