And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
