You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
