just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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