glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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