Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
