he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
