yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
