also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
