i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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