Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
