Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
