I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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