He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
