ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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