It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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