She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
