Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
