belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
