So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
