i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
