I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I am naked and annoyed.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
