did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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