There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
