why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
