I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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