Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
