So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
a search helicopter?!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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