It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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