All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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