I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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