Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
