Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
