I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
