My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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