you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
