that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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