if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
