Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize