You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize