He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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