Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
