the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You've changed since you got that strap on
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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