I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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