I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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