This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
