i don't like sucking hair
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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