id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Sober January is a disaster.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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