You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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