her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
