Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
