Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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