I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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