I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
