Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
