How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
