it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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