I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
