i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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