It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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