Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize