I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
