I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize