I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
